Thursday, June 19, 2003
posted by Julie |
There, I wrote the word. I wrote it down, and now I'm looking at it. And I don't like that word. Don't like it at all.
But that's where I am. I'm busy. I'm stressed. And when I get this way, I resort to the worst sort of eating habits. Eating mindlessly. Eating whatever's available at the gas station. Eating whatever's available in vending machines. Eating whatever's lying about. Eating whatever you're eating when I'm with you.
And not getting enough exercise.
All my great new habits become unraveled. I tell myself this is necessary so I can have a few more minutes every day to juggle my to do list, leave a few more voice mail messages. It's crazy thinking. It's a false economy.
And if I really look around at hard-working, stressed out skinny people? They don't behave this way. No matter how busy they are, they take the time to get a decent meal, even if it's a working meal. They start the day at the gym, even if they are those annoying people with the cell phones on the treadmills. Or they duck out at lunch for a stress-relieving walk or squash game. (Some day I'll find out what squash is.)
Somehow, caring for themselves is understood. It's fundamental to their day. They would sooner miss a meeting than go without eating, or eating crappy food.
I eat crap all day. I get LOTS of calories, but at the end of the day, I feel as if I haven't had a decent meal, because I haven't, so I eat good food on top of the bad, winding up blowing my calorie limit to bits along with my fat/protein/carb ratios.
I'm usually too tired at the end of the day to plan carefully for the next day, and right now have no groceries in the house to cart a decent lunch with me anyway. Not even tuna. Not even beans.
On top of it all, I'm disgusted with myself for getting so far out of whack so quickly. I haven't put on any weight, but if I keep this up, I most certainly will. I am making myself headachey, stomach upsety, cranky, tired. So tired!
Backsliding. I slid. Backwards. I'm a backslider. A slimey shirker. An oily ne'er-do-well, a shiftless sloth. A gluttonous dervish. Yuck!
Yeah, I know: Stop it.
I have to stop this, because it's not doing either of us any good at all, is it? No. It's not. It doesn't help.
What does help is the same old things. I need to take the time, the time, the time to eat a decent breakfast before I leave for, or at least make it to eat on the way to, work. I need to plan tonight to take along a lunch, or make myself take a break in my day to go get one. I MUST HAVE healthy snacks on hand at the office. I must go to bed earlier, so I can wake up earlier to work out.
Gotta take the time to get my head back in the game.
And I'm doing that right now, which is why, my lovelies, this is a short post.
Wanna get back in the game with me? Come talk to me at 3fatchicks.com. We'll egg one another on.
Stuff to think about when it happens
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