Monday, August 04, 2003
Starting Over Today
posted by Julie |
Lunch with an old friend/colleague today. We were catching up on this and that, and he mentioned how he quit smoking. I congratulated him, because he made his announcement as if he had just quit, just minutes ago. But the fact is, he quit fifteen years ago.
He says he has to wake up every day and remember that he doesn't smoke. If there's someone nearby smoking, it feels as if he quit a minute ago. He has recommited to not smoking every single day for fifteen years.
And I realized, picking at my 9 millionth chicken ceasar salad, that that's what maintaining a significant weight loss feels like. It's been a year and a half since I reached my goal weight, but keeping it off is a daily struggle. It's an effort and a decision I need to make every single day.
It's easier to exercise, yes. I don't hurt anymore. That's true. I can run for miles without stopping. Okay. I understand how to keep my calories down. Know how to count them, know how to shop. I know what additives to avoid, what foods will sink me. I know what ratio of protein/carbs/fats work best for my body.
I know so much. And as important as that knowledge and my new endurance is, as great as it is to have these tools, they're only tools. I still have to decide every day to pick them up and use them.
Some of us just have to. We were blessed with survivors' metabolisms, a body chemistry meant to help us through hunting and gathering, times of extreme need. Plopped down into a land of exhuberant food production and food brand celebration, we are fish out of water. Sort of. We are in an environment and lead lives that aren't conducive to managing our weight, burning the calories we consume, finding and paying for foods that our bodies need.
We have to work hard to be healthy. It stinks, but that's just the way it is for some of us.
And so, when we slip, when the bowl of chips lands unexpectedly in front of us, when we have a bad day and land face-first in a tub of Ben & Jerry's, we need to remember that we'll wake up to a new day.
A new day when we can pick up our tools and begin again.
And again, and again.
It's okay to do that. It's okay.
Good luck, best beloveds,
Starting Over (oh please)
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